Well, I’ve come out of the fatigue/nausea portion of Round 2 and am starting to feel a bit more normal. I’m looking forward to the off-week and the potential for feeling more energetic and clear-headed.
Since I was working all week, I talked Robbie out of coming into the city for the unplugging and just walked over and had it done. I did run into a little bureaucracy trying to get the appointment confirmed (and I don’t have a firm date yet for Round 3). I’m learning that the thing that takes the most time in medicine is the scheduling (big surprise!). I had some more enhanced side effects with this round – hiccups, hand cramps and weakness (again a side effect of Oxaliplatin) and I’m starting to lose some hair.
I’m actually kind of upset about the hair loss. I know it’s pretty common, perhaps even “expected”, but it’s more than a vanity thing. First of all, I want to be considered a person first and a cancer patient second. If I lose my hair, it will likely be obvious that I’m doing chemo. I think that this may breed some preconceived notions in people I meet or who know about my health. They may assume I’m sicker than I am or that I’m incapable of doing things I may be perfectly able to do. I don’t want to appear sick and pitiful.
It’s also a bit of an invasion of privacy. Not that I’m hiding the fact that I have cancer, but I don’t want to announce it to the world. I had a business meeting last Friday and my health did not come up. Would that still be the case if I was sitting there half bald from chemo or wearing a hat?
And lastly, one of the hardest things to deal with in my situation is just trying to maintain a healthy outlook. When I look at myself in the mirror, I look very much the same as I did two months ago. That image looking back at me helps me to visualize a cancer-free future. When I start staring at the Brian version of Gollum from Lord of the Rings, how healthy will I feel then?
And another thing - I just got a really good haircut and I hate to see the barber’s work destroyed! (I could have saved the $19, too)
OK, I’m done with the rant. Perhaps I should try to tell myself that hair loss is a sign that the medicine is working and I should view it more as a (big shiny) sunrise than a sunset…Also, someone told me recently that their father went through the same treatment I’m on and his hair thinned, but didn’t completely fall out…maybe I’m just thinning…
In any event, I’m glad Round 2 is done. I hope you are all well and looking forward to a great holiday season….BB
Since I was working all week, I talked Robbie out of coming into the city for the unplugging and just walked over and had it done. I did run into a little bureaucracy trying to get the appointment confirmed (and I don’t have a firm date yet for Round 3). I’m learning that the thing that takes the most time in medicine is the scheduling (big surprise!). I had some more enhanced side effects with this round – hiccups, hand cramps and weakness (again a side effect of Oxaliplatin) and I’m starting to lose some hair.
I’m actually kind of upset about the hair loss. I know it’s pretty common, perhaps even “expected”, but it’s more than a vanity thing. First of all, I want to be considered a person first and a cancer patient second. If I lose my hair, it will likely be obvious that I’m doing chemo. I think that this may breed some preconceived notions in people I meet or who know about my health. They may assume I’m sicker than I am or that I’m incapable of doing things I may be perfectly able to do. I don’t want to appear sick and pitiful.
It’s also a bit of an invasion of privacy. Not that I’m hiding the fact that I have cancer, but I don’t want to announce it to the world. I had a business meeting last Friday and my health did not come up. Would that still be the case if I was sitting there half bald from chemo or wearing a hat?
And lastly, one of the hardest things to deal with in my situation is just trying to maintain a healthy outlook. When I look at myself in the mirror, I look very much the same as I did two months ago. That image looking back at me helps me to visualize a cancer-free future. When I start staring at the Brian version of Gollum from Lord of the Rings, how healthy will I feel then?
And another thing - I just got a really good haircut and I hate to see the barber’s work destroyed! (I could have saved the $19, too)
OK, I’m done with the rant. Perhaps I should try to tell myself that hair loss is a sign that the medicine is working and I should view it more as a (big shiny) sunrise than a sunset…Also, someone told me recently that their father went through the same treatment I’m on and his hair thinned, but didn’t completely fall out…maybe I’m just thinning…
In any event, I’m glad Round 2 is done. I hope you are all well and looking forward to a great holiday season….BB
11 comments:
I can't believe you got a really good haircut for $19!! Honestly, I think I was in highschool the last time I paid $19...and it wasn't a good cut!!
And is it a cruel joke that the word verification for this entry is "scabi" Ewwwwww!!
Hope you guys had a good Thanksgiving!
If your hair gets really thin - I say just shave it off. Think of all the $19 haircuts you won't have to pay for. There's some really hot looking bald guys out there, you'd certainly give them a run for their money!
Brian,
I just heard and we're all pulling for you here at Pru. I know you're going to great since you have the two "h"'s going for you: honesty and humor. I'll be checking in.
Best regards,
Sandy
I say you go with the Grateful Dead/Frisbee Bandana on top of your head. I'd buy group annuity products from you, NP.
I have heard that ginseng helps a person to keep his hair. Why don't you look into that?
Here's some babbling from Jill.
I totally sympathize with you. You've got a great head of hair.
This is such a gender gap thing.
Most women get wigs - the insurance company calls it a prosthesis. Don't they offer that for men? Course you'd still have to pay to style your "hair."
Maybe men don't wear wigs because it's so fashionable to shave their heads.
I could put you in contact with my British friend Craig. He lost all of his hair (everywhere!) to an autoimmune disease a few years ago in his 30s. As best I know, that was the only effect of the disease. He just did the NYC Marathon and has always looked really healthy. I've never known him with hair, so it's not a big deal to me.
If you meet new clients w/o your hair, there's a good chance they won't wonder twice why it isn't there.
And I'm curious to know if the potential hair loss has a silver lining. No stubble burn for Robbie?
I have a great afro wig you can borrow...
Just kidding! :) Happy Holidays!
Thanks for sharing this with all of us. When we think of you we think of all the great things about you- not in any order-but- your Faith and Family, your love of the Giants, how you often don't just say whats on your mind and tend to beat around the bush!!!- (just kidding)- how you think everyone is as smart and well read as you are..... by the way-you're the only CFA I know with a personality.- So be encouraged. On a more serious note- I just had a conversation with a business associate of ours who said to me please tell Brian I will do anything he needs!!! He was very serious!!!! As we all are..
Brian - where are you? Don't leave us hanging or I'll have to come over and make you type. Either that or I can give Sara Bean my dad's new chemo drugs to analyze.
Buuuud:
Sorry that it took me so long to comment - I haven't been able to get to a good internet connection and trying to comment on a Blackberry is not all that easy.
On to the hair thing. It will take you a little time to appreciate being bald but let me give you a couple of them to start with.
1. You NEVER have a bad hair day.
2. You don't have to worry about your hair getting wet when it rains.
3. $9 for a hair cut - yea right....
4. You don't have to worry about combing and looking acceptable when you first get up in the morning.
You will however need to get used to wearing a hat. Not because your trying to hide anything but getting a sun-burn on the top sucks.
I love you man and don't ever forget, once a bud, always a bud!!!
I vote for the shaving or toupee. This is your chance to try it all out! And you'll be handsome with all of the choices.
Love, Pat
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