Saturday, March 9, 2013

Paliative Care


I’m back with an update – but I must tell you that there isn’t a whole lot of good news in this post.  I had my radiation procedure on January 11th, which went without incident.  However, the exhaustion I expected afterwards never lifted.  January and February seemed to just slip by as I logged about 16 hours a day sleeping, or at least attempting to. 
 Last week, I had a follow up PET scan to determine the effectiveness of the radiation and it was a bust.  My CEA is at an all-time high, my bilirubin level is well into jaundice range at 3.5 and the cancer has continued to spread.  I knew going in that the radiation procedure only works in two out of three cases; unfortunately I am in the other third.  But, it was worth a shot.

Robbie and I met with Dr. S on Tuesday to go over the results and see if there is anything else to be done.  There isn’t.  The “Plan B” drug – Stirvaga – that we talked about in December cannot be given to patients with my bilirubin level.  In addition, Dr. S has been trying it with others and evidently, it is quite a bit harsher than originally predicted.  In any event, the cupboard is bare and there are no treatments left to arrest my cancer.  From this point on, we will just work on issues of comfort and pain relief. 

The first item for pain relief will be some radiation. I have had a lot of pain in my hip this past month or two, which I thought was tendonitis from spending so much time in bed.  But, it turns out that the cancer had spread to my bones.  Some local, external radiation should help alleviate the pain and attacking the cancer there can also lower the risk that I break my hip, which I am now more likely to do.  Robbie and I will also meet with MSK’s hospice people to put together a management plan to help as this gets worse.

As for timing, Dr. S (as always) will not make a prediction since he cannot make one accurately.  But he did agree that I have “weeks or months” left.  He does not expect me to decline immediately – in fact we made a follow up appointment in six weeks which he said he expects I should be able to keep.  However, at some point soon, my liver will fail or some other bad event will occur – like an infection – and I won’t last long after that. Until then, I plan to do my best to stay as active as possible and enjoy life as much as possible.

I would like to say thank you to all of you who have been so supportive over these past 4 and ½ years.  It is a tremendous benefit to me and to my family to be able to stay connected and live as normally as possible.  Your kindness, humor and companionship have made a big difference and I can’t thank you enough.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dear Brian,
What do I say to an old friend that is in your position? You've come to the place that we all will at some point. I'm very proud of you for your grace and bravery. You have been a great father, loving husband and you are an example to us all. I hope you know how much you mean to so many of us.

Sincerely
Your Friend
Chris O.

Ginger said...

Brian, you have done a helluva lot with what you were given. Chris said some of the same words that are going through my mind: grace, bravery, strength, love. Even though you once told me I was made out of a horrible monster with many heads*, you've been a great cousin. I hope you are free of pain so you can enjoy life as long as is left to you.

*At our grandmother's apartment, so it was like a hundred years ago, but I've never forgotten it. Clearly.

Kim said...

Brian, you have been an inspiration to Dave and me. You are courageous, committed, focused, strong and throughout this journey have kept a sense of humor and purpose. We know you are surrounded by those you love and those that love you.

Love, Kim and Dave

Anonymous said...

You're an amazing person who was dealt a shitty hand. I am so glad you have graced my life and you will never be forgotten. I doubt you remember this but a long time ago at a party on Commercial Ave you and I danced to "What I Like About You" and it was a great night with lots of laughs. There is so much we all like about you, thank you for sharing your journey with us, it has been truly remarkable, just like you and your family. Peace.

Love, Rita B

Vee said...

Dearest Brian - this sucks! Clearly, you were graced with the Irish gift for words, while I was graced with the Irish inability to express emotion other than anger and humor. I love you very much and ANYTHING I can do to ease your/your family's burden - I'm there (I also got the Irish task-master gene)

Love you so, so MUCH I hope you feel that!!!

Vicky