The Daily Show

Last Thursday, Rob and I met some friends in the city to see the taping of John Stewart's The Daily Show. It was interesting to see how they put the show together and it was great fun to be in the audience. The studio was actually much smaller than I thought it would be - holding 239 people max. We came home and watched the show that night and it was pretty much straight through as it was live. John Stewart did a long bit at the beginning imitating Glenn Beck which they did trim a little - I think for length.

We then went for a bite on 9th Avenue right around the corner from where I lived when I started at AXA (50th and 9th). It was nice to get into the city for something other than treatment. Hope you all are having a great weekend and enjoying this terrific weather! You can see the Glenn Beck piece online at thedailyshow.com - it's titled "Conservative Libertarian".

Round 34 - Your Mileage May Vary

I had my appointment with Dr S yesterday. After looking at the scan again and my other tests, he recommended that I stay on my current treatment. Although the scan shows some growth, all of my other tests and levels look good. Accordingly, he felt we could "get a little more mileage" out of my current protocol. So, we will continue the current regiment and then see what my next scan shows. That scan will be in about 6 weeks. So, I had treatment yesterday and a chocolate cupcake from Crumbs.

For you car buffs, this a 1962 Thunderbird convertible. Like me, someone is getting a little more mileage out of her!

February - Rounds 32 and 33

OK, I have been pretty silent this February when it comes to blogging So, as the month expires, I thought I would post an update I had two rounds of treatment this month plus my regular bi-monthly CT scan. The treatments themselves were pretty routine.

I’ve also been trying to focus on a number of things I either need to or would like to get done sooner rather than later. But somehow in all of this I lost my voice for blogging. I did spend a fair bit of time reading the transcripts from the World Economic Forum, which were great. Perhaps I will blog later on that. I was also probably one of the 14 people in America who watched the entire 7 hours of the President’s Healthcare summit. I thought there was a lot of interesting (although admittedly wonkish) discussion but the media seemed to be looking for fireworks I wish some responsible media outlet would actually review the points and reasoning rather than just looking for the “killer” sound bite.

But back to reality. On my health front, I have had some bad news. My recent scan has shown “significant” growth in my cancer. Significant is a proportional designation – meaning the percentage of tumor size. Since my tumors are all very small, the overall amount of cancer isn’t problematic yet. In fact, I believe that they have not yet attained the size they started at before the 50% reduction from my early chemo days. But, most importantly, the results mean that my current drugs (5FU and AMG655) aren’t working anymore. This is the way it works with colon cancer (and perhaps other cancers as well) – a drug works for a while and kills everything that it can. But if it doesn’t kill it all, the remainder is immune to that drug. So it does no good to keep taking it.

I will need to move to a new line of defense. I don’t know what that is yet. My onc wanted to consult with the radiologist before making a recommendation on next steps. So, I will see him on Tuesday the 8th to come up with a new gameplan. I am disappointed that my first line, which seemed to be going so well, has now failed after just 15 months. Dr S said that’s about the median for its usefulness. But I knew from the beginning that this is a defensive war where each treatment protocol will work for only so long and then you need to fallback to something else to buy more time and so on. I’m also a bit disappointed because I have been feeling pretty good and my weight is up. I have been weight training nearly everyday this year to try to improve my strength and muscle mass for the fight ahead. Hopefully the workouts will help shore up my second line, whatever that turns out to be. I’ll let you know when I know.

Thanks again to you all for your continued support. It means a lot to me and my family. BB

Round 31

I went yesterday for my re-scheduled Round 31, having had new blood work done on Monday. My liver function readings are back down - just under the maximum in the range. I did have a very large spike in another test, called CPK, which is an indicator of muscle or heart damage. After discussing it with Dr. S, we decided to go ahead with treatment anyway. I think the issue with my CPK probably reflects the fact that I have been going to the gym almost every day this month to "pump some iron". The reading probably just relates to me using a lot of muscles that have been relatively inactive for the last year. In any event, I am very happy to have passed the test and gotten treatment.

As an aside, I think the extra week off really was a rest I needed. I actually feel pretty good and didn't even get nauseous in the chair. I think the combination of working out and getting a week delay in treatment has made me stronger than I was before. It has, however, reminded me that I do have a serious condition. The year of stability sort of lulled me into a sense of security. That led me to put off some things that I should have taken care of already. So, it's a good shot across the bow.

Round 30 and (almost) 31

Well, I haven’t blogged in quite a while. The holidays were full of friends and family and birthday parties (for both me and David who turned 14). I had chemo round 30 on December 28th and it went as usual.

Unfortunately, I went for Round 31 yesterday and, after a 2 hour wait to see my onc, I found out that I failed my liver function blood test. My levels were several times higher than the acceptable maximum. So, they took a little extra blood to do a few extra tests – like a hepatitis check – and sent me home. I will try again next week and, hopefully, my levels will return to normal. I’m not sure if this is a sign of things to come or just a bump in the road. We’ll see.

Omens

I’m not a superstitious person but I have a little story of omens to share. Last winter, when I was quite sick and still dealing with my diagnosis, I was awakened every morning by a group of crows that alight on the trees outside my bedroom window. Every morning for weeks on end, these crows would come caw and squawk to wake me up. It was rather annoying and, since crows are traditional symbols of death, their morning greeting was that much less enjoyable. It was odd to me that of all the trees in our neighborhood, these darn crows chose my window to serenade every day. When spring came, they found somewhere else to go and I was glad to be rid of them.

I had forgotten about the crows until late summer, when I went up to Cape Cod for a few days. One afternoon, I was taking a quick nap on the couch while waiting for a friend to drop buy. A group of crows chose that moment to come sit on the railing of the deck right outside the window and cawed their lungs out as I tried to nap. When my friend arrived, I mentioned to her about how the crows seem to be following me. She emailed me a few days later to say that she had looked into the symbolism of crows. They are not just symbols of death but are often viewed in mythology as symbols of transition or change. That is a less ominous interpretation so I prefer it.

So, yesterday, on Christmas morning, I went down to the curb to get the paper and heard a loud knocking, like someone hammering. Above me in the tree were two large Pileated Woodpeckers. They were pounding away at the tree and knocking off chunks of bark looking for a six-legged breakfast. I was pretty impressed. I often see the little Downy woodpeckers in our tress and the Flicka, which also ground feeds. But Pileateds are pretty large and I have only seen or heard their calls or hammering when deep in the woods. I have never seen them in the more open, residential areas. So, I decided to look up the mythology of the woodpecker.

Woodpeckers are a symbol of opportunity (as in Opportunity Knocks – what other animals see such hope for a good meal in a dead tree?). They are also associated with a source of creativity or returning to ones roots. Now that’s a good omen for Christmas day.

I am still not a big believer in the supernatural. But the crows and woodpeckers do make a good catalyst to ponder 2009 and 2010. 2009 was certainly a year of transition. Not just for my family but for the many thousands who have been affected by layoffs, foreclosures and the trials of a bad economy. But perhaps 2010 will bring about new opportunity, new sources of creativity and a returning to the important things – like family and friends – who are the roots of who we are. So I wish you all the best for new opportunities in 2010 as we transition to the New Year. Merry Christmas!

Round 29 and Snowflakes

As I await the coming foot or so of snow, I thought I'd post a quick blog. On Tuesday I went for Round 29. I also had a scan on Monday. My scan came back stable - so treatment is still working nicely.

To thank the staff for all their help this year, I brought them a big tray of cupcakes from Crumbs. If you are not a New Yorker, Crumbs is a bakery chain in the city that makes the most incredible cupcakes. I went to the one on 3rd Ave at 53rd Street but there are many other locations. I recommend a visit if you are a cupcake lover (which I am)!

So far, it's been a nice start to the holiday season. All the Hannukah candles have been lit and it's now time to put up my Charlie Brown tree in the window. The snow will make a nice backdrop for the season. For Northeasterners, the foot or so we expect will be handled well I expect since we have lots of plows and salt spreaders. I doubt there will be school closings on Monday - much to the dismay of the kids. But they'll get some sledding in! As for my good friends in Richmond, your kids will probably get the week off! I saw on WTVR.com this morning that Richmond got about a foot! That's probably a "10 year event" so digging out will take a while! Or perhaps y'all will just have to wait for it all to melt! Hope you got in that last run to Ukrops to stock up on milk and bread!

And a piece of trivia for you - I researched today how many snowflakes it takes to build a snowman. The answer is about 2 to 3 million! First kid to gues the answer gets dibs on the hot chocolate!

I hope you are enjoyng the season...think I'll go build a fire in the fireplace now...BB