Round 8

Since I use the web to track myself, I thought I’d add a quick entry on Round 8. Rob unplugged me yesterday. It has been a relatively easy round. The side effects of Oxaliplatin (which I stopped taking after Round 6) seem to really be waning. The doc said it would be worse before it got better and the last three weeks have been bad. But since last Friday and through this round so far, it’s not bad. I even have an appetite. Since I lost about 5 pounds in the last two weeks, perhaps I can gain some of it back!

PS - This is Dale Earnhardt Jr even though I prefer Denny Hamlin (from Chesterfield, VA) but I can't use Denny til round 11....

Smile!

What a difference a few days makes! Friday evening, a friend took me to the Nets game. Not only did we get some great seats, but we also got a personal tour of the club under the stands which is reserved for season ticket holders and of the locker rooms. A great evening for a basketball fan, even if the Nets lost!

On Saturday, my brother and his family came to visit and my nieces stayed over Saturday night. My kids and nieces get along so well – it’s a joy to have them. We also got a chance to take a nice long walk in the woods, which is always great for the soul! And, best of all, my side effects have been minimal, my energy good and I even have an appetite! It couldn’t have been a better weekend!

So, while in such a good mood, I thought I’d share this picture Vicki took of me yesterday! I’m sending a smile your way because you guys rock and I want to share some joy. In today’s tough economic times, there’s still nothing better than good friends, good family and good food! Enjoy your week…BB

Short of Breath

The last several weeks have been difficult from a side-effects perspective. This is a bit disappointing. Among the list of annoying side effects, the one that has been the most bothersome has been fatigue. I’ve been so fatigued that I haven’t blogged much. In fact some days I take three 2-hour naps – doesn’t leave a lot of time for anything else. Now, I’ve always been a big fan of the afternoon nap, but this is ridiculous.

In recent days, I’ve also had a lot of shortness of breath – as in I walk across the room and then need to sit and take a deep breath. Rob got concerned about it and called the authorities (she called my oncologist’s office to ask about it). I then got a call from the nurse telling me to go to the emergency room. So, having been “outed”, I spent the evening yesterday in the company of my friends at Morristown Memorial’s ER. I’ve been there enough now that I think if I go one more time, I’ll get a free night’s stay!

The reason for the ER trip was that shortness of breath and elevated heart rate (mine was 113 when I checked in) can be signs of a pulmonary embolism or a blood clot in the lungs. So, I got an ECG, a ride in the CAT scan machine and a chest XRay. Thankfully, all were clear. The ER doctor said that he wasn’t sure what the problem was other than a chemo side effect and that I should speak to my oncologist. He did give me an Albuterol treatment which is basically inhaling a mist through a mask. This is supposed to help open up your airways. And he gave me an Albuterol inhaler to bring home.

So, another evening at the ER - but the result was nothing life threatening so I’m thankful for that. I hope you all are well. Wake me when it's time to blog some more!…BB

Florida (Part 2)

Hey All. Tomorrow is juicing day so I thought I get out a blog before being chemically enhanced. Last week, I went back down to Florida to stay with my father for the week and enjoy some warmer weather. I had hoped for 70’s but unfortunately I timed my visit to coincide with a big cold front that moved through all week. So the days were upper 40’s - low 50’s and the nights around 30. Better than here, though. But about half the nightly news was about the weather – especially protecting the orange and strawberry crops from freezing.

I also caught a glimpse of some wildlife. Some Sand Hill Cranes came strolling across the yard one morning – a truly majestic bird. Maybe 4 feet tall, gray with a red crown. I also scared up an armadillo out of a palmetto bush while walking in the park. We don’t see them often here but my father tells me they are as common as raccoons in Florida. I also saw the rarely seen Champion Steeler Fan. There were flocks of them at the airport when I arrived on the Monday after Super Bowl Sunday. Vibrant in their black and yellow but with sagging, tired looking eyes.

So, I enjoyed the visit but am glad to be back with the family. Tomorrow is Treatment 7 and the first one without Oxaliplatin, which has a lot of side effects. I am hopeful that the side effects this round will be milder (this past round wasn’t particularly good from that perspective). And I wish you all well! BB

Been Busy!

Well, it’s been a while since I’ve blogged but that’s just because I’ve been busy. I juiced yesterday – just the usual routine other than that during the downtime when they mixed the meds, I met a colleague and got caught up a little at work. This past non-juicing week was pretty good from an energy perspective. I still need my big middle-of-the-day nap but I have been able to get some things done. I’m trying to get my mojo back! So, I’ve reconnected at work to see how things are going, and with some industry contacts. And, I’m getting going on some things at home.

I’ve also been pondering those longer run items. This involves a lot of gazing out the window. But I can report that the birds did eventually find the seed and I will too.

Stay warm, BB

Bird Brains

The other day, an inch or so of ice fell overnight, covering every surface and the branches of the trees. The next morning, I was watching the birds flitter around among the branches in my backyard, trying to stay out of the freezing rain that was still falling. Feeling bad for them, I went out and threw some bird seed on the patio and on the picnic table on our deck. Then I sat at the kitchen window and waited to see who would be the first to discover it – the juncos or the titmice. After about 20 minutes of watching, not a single bird had noticed the seed. They continued to flit around on the branches either trying to stay dry or stay warm. And many seemed to be trying to pick at the ice in search of food. But none saw the seeds I had thrown even though they stood out boldly on the table. My offering was undiscovered yet not undiscoverable.

As I thought about these avian knuckleheads, it dawned on me that their situation is a good analogy for me. Until now, I have been so busy focusing on and dealing with the immediate changes in our family life – the chemo routines, the scans, the side effects, the disability paperwork, how the kids are coping, etc – that I haven’t thought at all about the long term. In fact, I said to someone recently that I don’t think farther than a week or two ahead because I don’t know what the future will bring. I have been staying out of the rain and trying to stay warm.

Now that we’re getting the routine down a little better, and having received a hopeful result from my first scan, I think it makes sense to start thinking a little more long term. How can I make the most of, and be productive, during the better days during this chemotherapy? What happens when I come off of chemo later in 2009? How will I handle returning to work? Do I want to change my outlook on what’s important in life based on this experience? Are there things I want to do now, before a potential downturn in health would make it impossible? What’s really important to do and what do I do just because it’s there and it needs doing? And many more questions …

These are the seeds on my picnic table which have been undiscovered by me. I’m still in the trees, shedding the rain. But they are not undiscoverable. Up to now, I have blogged mostly about the mechanics of cancer therapy. I may blog more in the future about these bigger issues. One thing I have learned is how great and diverse and creative and intelligent my friends and family are. Perhaps in sharing some thoughts that go beyond the mechanics, it may prompt you to share a perspective from your experience. Or, perhaps it will even prompt you to address something in your life that you’ve been meaning to focus on but daily life has been getting in the way!

Stay warm! BB

Round 5 – Everything 50% Off

Yesterday was Round 5. But more importantly, I got the results of my first official MSK CT Scan to see how treatment is going. The scan was on the 7th. I am absolutely ecstatic to report that I had a really good scan. Dr. S says I have about a 50% shrinkage in tumor volume! My own personal post-holiday 50% off sale! This is about as good as it gets! So naturally, I asked him if this great response means that my treatment plan can be adjusted. He had to bring me down from the ceiling and remind me that we are only in the “early innings” and while this progress is very encouraging, I should still expect an “open ended commitment to chemo”. More specifically, I asked how long in 2009 I will need to keep up the chemo – he said expect to go through the summer and then we’ll see if I can have a “chemo holiday”. So, although Dr. S is certainly more cautious in his optimism than I am, I’m going with the good news. He’s gotta be careful not to over promise, I can go with the lift that comes with feeling like I’m going to see the other side of this thing. Positive attitude counts!

And thanks to you all, for all your great support – it’s working!

So here are some other tidbits….the cold sensitivity side effects from Oxaliplatin are really bad this time – as expected. But luckily, I will only have one more dose of Oxi and then he’s taking me off. Then, I think I’ll go back to Florida and try to warm up!

I had a second round with the acupuncturist to see if that can help with the side effects (I’d like to use less chemicals). He used 32 pins this time – I was quite the human pin cushion! I doesn’t really hurt though – not even the one right between the eyes! We’ll see how well it works.

OK, so that’s all the news that’s fit to print. I’m so glad to share the news….take care, BB