Benched

I had my scan last week and went in for the results and therapy yesterday. When I got to the exam room, Dr S came in with his head research nurse, his research assistant and another doctor. I thought to myself - uh oh, I guess my scan didn't come out too well. Dr S told me that I had some more growth, about the same amount as last time (which isn't a lot). Then he told me that it's time for me to take a break from chemo. This struck me as rather curious. Why would I take a break if I'm losing ground?

Dr S said that, although I've had some more growth, my overall tumor volume is still pretty small and I haven't even made it back to where we started 17 months ago after I had the big reduction at the start of therapy. So, he feels it's time for me to take a break. I told him several times that I feel strong and ready to keep going. I'm not asking for a break and I don't want one if it's going to reduce my prospects in the future. Dr S said that I have already been in therapy longer than he likes to have someone on continuosly. Further, if it weren't for the study protocol, he would have already gone with a chemo holiday. Some preliminary results of the study drug are in and it doesn't look as promising as they thought (plus he doesn't even know if I am getting it.) Therefore, he wants me to take a break. I again told him that I am capable of taking a lot more chemo. Ultimately, he just said "I'm your Doctor and I'm advising you that you need to take a break". So I gave in. They flushed my port and scheduled a scan for two months from now. Dr S says I will be benched through the summer and likely into the fall. We will continue to scan every two months so the next time I'll come back is at the end of June.

While I find this a bit curious, I suppose that treatment every two weeks for 17 months is indeed a long time. In the end, I need to rely on the judgment of my onc. After all, he's the expert and I went with him for that expertise. I will go with his judgment. And as we all know, judgment is one part knowledge, one part experience, a teaspoon of bitters, an ounce of simple syrup and the zest of one lemon. Or is that a Tom Collins? In any event, I'm now officially benched for the next few months.

On the good side, we are going to Europe in July so I'll be 10 weeks out of treatment by then. Hopefully this will improve my stamina, decrease my side effects and make it a much more enjoyable time! BTW - Dr S says the side effects of chemo take quite a while to wear off - but I have to imagine they'll be noticeably better.

So, having been turned away on a gorgeous spring day, I decided to walk back to Penn Station rather than ride the E train. I cut through Rock Center and down 6th Ave, stopping at Bryant Park for a little rest (see pic above). I watched a couple of games of bocce which seems to be played there 24/7 in all weather. I swear that the same guy (dresses in black, fashionable goatee and a black beret) holds court every day! Then I hit Jimmy's diner at 36th street for some lunch and hopped the train. In all, a nice day for a walk in the city!

Hope you all are enjoying the great arrival of spring and a (fingers crossed) blossoming of our economy! BB