School's Out for Summer

Finally....it's over!  After a crazy - hectic June, graduation day finally arrived last Thursday! Vicki and her class of '11 had a wonderful run and now they're all back to being lowly frosh in the fall!!

She and we topped it off with a nice party today here at the homestead!

Dave is off to camp tomorrow in New Hampshire and Rob & I are off to a (much anticipated) vacation in Maine.  So, poor Vicki is left to guard the castle and go to work....sucka!!!

Six More Weeks!

I had my follow up yesterday with Dr. S to see if I can stay off the juice until my July scan. I had blood work done last week and it all looked good except for some more increase in my CEA. But, since I feel pretty good and the bloods looked okay (they post them online so I can see them ahead of time), I was pretty optimistic about getting the remaining six weeks off until my next scan. The appointment did not disappoint, so I am free until July!


I have been truly fortunate this past year, with the tumors growing at only a modest rate. The pain has (so far) been manageable and I look forward to getting through Vicki’s graduation and a trip to New England with Robbie in late-June/early-July before the scan. I think we’ve about made it to the end of this road, however, and I doubt there will be another reprieve.

And, it actually didn’t rain yesterday! So, I was able to walk around Manhattan without getting soaked - even saw that big yellow fireball in the sky for the first time since I-don’t-know-when! Like the groundhog, I saw my shadow…perhaps that’s why I got six more weeks!

Maybe I'll build an Arc

Not sure if I moved to Seattle without remembering it but it has been raining here for days and the prediction is that it will continue through the weekend.  It’s a far cry from last week when every day was sunny and in the 70’s!  The big downside of all this rain is that it’s hard to take my daily woods walk.  Besides needing to gear up for the rain, the trails are extremely muddy and in many areas impassable.  Here’s a shot I took yesterday on a very short walk before the rain picked up and I retreated to the car.  The trail was a washout anyway so I wouldn’t have gotten too far….BB    

Just Birds (again)!



Wood Duck

On a lighter note, in my trail walks around Morristown this spring, I have noticed an increase in two species of birds. I have seen both before but not with the frequency that I have noticed them lately. They are the Wood Duck and the Goshawk. The Wood Ducks might be more noticeable because many of the trails I walk cross over lowlands, which have been extensively flooded now for weeks. The larger footprint of water in the woods might be bringing the ducks into better view. Or there may, in fact, be more of them.



Goshawk



On the Goshawk front, I have definitely seen more of them this year than any other. This could be good news since increases in predators are often a sign of a healthy ecosystem. An alternative reason can be that they are losing territory somewhere else. But, since new home construction in this area has been almost non-existent for several years now, I suspect that the increase in Goshawks reflects an increase in small prey animals (like the chipmunks who use my rock wall for a home).

Lastly, I made a new sighting this week of a bird I have never identified before. It is said to be common in the area, but like Goshawks and Wood Ducks, inhabits heavy woodlands and prefers to be secretive. I had never seen one (or frankly even heard of it) but I got a great look at one recently while strolling alone in a dense patch and positively identified it as a Black Throated Blue Warbler. Quite a good looking bird with a call much louder than its small stature would imply.



Black Throated Blue Warbler

So nature-lovers, go stroll your woods, fields and shorelines, perhaps you will catch a glimpse of something interesting!



Replacing OBL

The airwaves this week were full of information and commentary on the killing of Osama bin Laden and the repercussions of the event will go on for some time. It is interesting to note that the killing of the world’s most famous terrorist - and perhaps the most famous Arab of the 20/21st Century - means both very little and quite a lot. There are still thousands of extremists all over the world who were and will continue to be inspired by him. And as a result, our lives will continue to be molded by the need to combat them. Therefore, one could argue that his death really doesn’t change anything.

On the other hand, his defeat has real symbolic and practical consequences for millions of people. Does his demise send a message to his followers about the futility of their methods? How does it change (or end) the mission of U.S. forces in Afghanistan? Does it alter our policies toward Afghanistan? Pakistan? Iraq? Other Arab nations? Do the peaceful pro-democratic movements in Tunisia and Egypt, coupled with bin Laden’s death, usher in a new era in the economic and political development of that part of the world?

I don’t know. But here’s my wishful thinking on the topic. The people of the Middle East have a lot of problems. These problems stem from a long history of colonialism, tribalism, poverty, repression and ignorance. But I think that is changing and the change is being spurred by technology. While military might, the influence of money and the shackles of tribalism still dominate the area, the “Arab spring” movement, I think, shows that even poorer people in the region see firsthand – through internet/mobile technology/social media - the success of countries that were once like them (notably: China, India) and they ask “How come we’re not building our economies and making people’s lives better?” and “What happens to us when the oil money runs out?”. As a result, they may be changing their thinking from one of blaming the West or the other tribe’s sect or Israel and taking a hard look at themselves. And this self-examination has the potential to turn them away from violence-oriented solutions (for who has suffered more from sectarian violence than the Arab people?) and toward true nation building. What they need now is a Gandhi or MLK-like figure to rally people around non-violence and a recognition of everyone’s right to live in peace and prosperity. I hope that person emerges and replaces bin Laden as the most famous Arab of the 21st century.

And The Winner is….

It’s done! The trips back to Boston and DC are behind us and the colleges’ programs, opportunities and atmospheres have all been re-tested. Miss Vicki mulled, considered, parsed, poked, prodded, kicked tires, quizzed students, slept in dorms, ate college food, strolled campuses and made lists of pros & cons. And last night, she rendered her decision….drum roll please….she has committed to Barnard!


Of course, the first thing we needed to do was get us some Barnard swag! So, today I took her into the city to the Barnard campus for a couple of sweatshirts, a car sticker, etc. Even got her brother a shirt saying “Barnard Football – Undefeated since 1889!” Then we strolled around the Barnard and Columbia campuses and down to 112th and Broadway to have lunch at the diner made famous in the TV show “Seinfeld” (you would recognize the outside for certain – inside it is much smaller than the studio version). The Morningside Heights section of Manhattan is very, very nice and amazingly clean and safe. Frankly, better than any area of the city I’ve been in before. I only wish it hadn’t been raining today as it would have been fun to take a walk in Riverside Park before running off with our booty.

During Vicki’s search process, I learned that many people are unfamiliar with Barnard, so I will take a moment to tell you about it. Barnard is the women’s college at Columbia University. It is both a part of Columbia University and independent of it at the same time. Barnard and Columbia students take classes together, participate in the same clubs, sports teams, live in each others dorms, etc. However, Barnard has its own Board of Trustees and admissions process and provides many services such as career counseling, peer support, some clubs and some traditions that are unique to Barnard. Barnard degrees are conferred by Columbia University with the seals of both Barnard and Columbia (and Columbia must approve of the hiring and tenure of professors at Barnard).

So, a natural question (for me) was – why didn’t Barnard just merge into Columbia like Radcliff merged into Harvard long ago? The answer: Columbia asked, Barnard said No! After 10 years of asking, Columbia gave up and opened it’s admissions to women but still maintained the curious “she is but she isn’t” relationship with Barnard. Barnard didn’t want to get married, she wanted to live together and keep her own name! And that’s what they do.

In any event, Vicki is very excited about becoming a “Barnard Woman” and we are, of course, very proud of both her achievement and the thoughtfulness she put into deciding the best college match for her. The picture above is one of Vicki’s graduation portraits --- doesn’t she look like a Barnard woman?

Staying up Late

Robbie and I met with the onc yesterday to review my scan and blood work. I had suspected that the results wouldn’t be that good and Rob came along to be part of the decision making. As it turned out, the results weren’t good, but they could have been worse. My tumors continue to grow and have reached a size now where I can feel them – hence the liver pain I’ve had for the last few months. My CEA level (blood indicator of cancer activity) is also very high. Nonetheless, we decided to hold off a little longer on treatment to take advantage of the fact that I am feeling as good as I have since this whole thing started.


That may sound a bit odd since delaying treatment is not without risk, but the decision really goes back to my overall strategy. As an incurable patient, my goal is to maximize my quality of life and extend it as much as possible. The various forms of chemo available to me all have rather nasty side effects and each works for only a limited period of time. Therefore, I have to balance how much I get (and when) in order to preserve as much chemo-free time as I can get without risking a big drop in health. In this case, it seems worth the risk to try to extend my free period a bit longer. So, I will get new bloods and visit the onc in six weeks. If my levels haven’t deteriorated too much or the pain hasn’t gotten too bad, I might be able to squeeze out another six weeks off. It seems pretty doubtful that I could get any more mileage beyond that. So, six to twelve weeks is my new timeframe, barring an occurrence of jaundice or other problem.

As part of our meeting, Dr. S showed us the latest scan and compared it side-by-side to my January scan (ain’t technology something!). It was a fascinating lesson in anatomy as he identified the various organs and pointed out the tumors. They are definitely much larger than the last time I saw a scan – maybe a year ago – with the biggest ones about 1.5 inches in diameter (the size of a ball with the same diameter as a silver dollar). One is directly under my ribcage near the outer edge of the liver and is the culprit in my pain issue. But all the other bits and pieces are exactly where they belong and looked marvelous!

Another little item I learned was that I have something called Gilbert’s Syndrome (it's pronounced in the french, "Jzhil-bair"), which is neither terribly uncommon nor particularly troublesome to the average person. It’s a genetic defect that makes the liver a bit of an underperformer in processing bilirubin. Most people who have it (something like 1 in 20 people) would never know and never have a problem. It’s only relevant for me because at least one of the possible drugs I have not yet had can be tricky to dose correctly for we laggards in bilirubin processing. Also, one of the symptoms of Gilberts can be fatigue and I wonder if that might be a bit of a complicator for me as well. Curiously, people with Gilbert’s seem to have a lower risk of heart disease! So there’s a silver lining out there for the 1 in 20 of you who may read this and wonder how your bilirubins are doing today!

In short, I am just like the kid who asks Mom if he can stay up an extra hour ‘cause there’s no school tomorrow. Perhaps I’ll pay for it later or maybe I’ll just sleep in, but I’m going to try to take advantage of this chance to be chemical-free a little longer.