Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Third Chemo Holiday Scan

I met with Dr. S yesterday to get the results of last Friday’s scan and was very pleasantly surprised! My cancer continues to grow at about the same rate as the prior two scans. However, since I “look good” to Dr. S, he feels that it’s okay for me to stay on a chemo break through the coming holidays. I will start chemo again in early January. We will do another scan in mid-December and then plan for renewed treatment after I get fat on Christmas pudding. He did say that I should get in touch with him if I have any issues before then – specifically cancer pain or signs of jaundice. I have yet to have either, so I hope that trend will continue.


We talked a little bit about how the tumor measurement is interpreted. I have often described them as “freckles” on my liver since the measurement is quoted as a diameter. I pictured them as spots each the size of a different coin – a penny, nickel, quarter, etc. But that’s not quite right. The tumors are three dimensional like a marble or a small ball and they aren’t necessarily on the surface of the liver. My larger ones are now just under an inch in diameter.

So, in trying to picture what my liver really looks like, I did some homework last night on how big a human liver is. The answer in part depends on the size of the person. Women have slightly smaller livers than men but that’s just because they’re slightly smaller anyway. The liver is shaped like a right triangle with the long side running horizontally under the ribcage from the right side of your body to the middle. The short side runs down the right side of the body. For an “average” man, it is about 9 or 10 inches across, 6 inches tall and – amazingly I think – 4 inches deep! It weights 3 to 3 ½ pounds and has a volume of about 1.4 liters (about 48 fluid ounces). In other words, it takes up about the same amount of space as four cans of soda.

So, if we drop into these four cans of soda three or four marbles of about 1 inch in diameter and perhaps 8 or 10 smaller marbles (like the kind we played with as kids), that’s my liver. Hope you liked that visual! BB

Friday, October 22, 2010

October Scan and Assorted Other Items



October is heading for a finish that’s a lot more “normal” now. Most importantly, my father’s dementia has cleared substantially. He is still in need of regular assistance but he is aware and capable. Our plan was to have him come up yesterday to stay for a month or two either with us or in a facility nearby. We had found one near my brother in Pennsylvania that sounded good and was reasonably priced (insurance wouldn’t cover it). However, at the eleventh hour, Robbie located a nurse in my father’s community who agreed to stay with him in his guest room and help him while he recuperates. Dad wanted to stay in his own house which, beside the comfort of being home, is much better laid out for someone with difficulty walking. So, we struck the deal and Rob came home solo yesterday.

We were all very glad to see her! The kids and I did fine in her absence, but she has a way of running the place that everyone likes. So, the boss is back and we’re all getting back to the usual routine. And just in time!

I had a CT scan today and have my meeting with the onc next Tuesday. I expect that there will be more growth and that he will have me start chemo again very shortly. There’s an outside chance that the growth will be so slight that I can have a little more time, but I’m not counting on it. So for the next few days, I am preparing myself to go back into treatment. As you might imagine, I’m not that psyched about it. I like having hair and eyebrows. I like being able to eat anything I want without all the GI problems. I like not feeling sleepy or like a truck ran over me or both. But, you can’t always get what you want (copyright: Rolling Stones 1969).

In the meantime, we’re doing the usual things you’re probably doing this fall. The pumpkin is on the front stoop. The yard is full of leaves and acorns (to be cleared this weekend). Mid-semester progress reports have arrived from Morristown High and parent-teacher conferences are being scheduled. Dave had a game this afternoon (winning 22-8, improving to a season record of 4-2-1). Vicki and Dave are planning their big Halloween party at our house next Saturday. And…one of my favorite October activities…the Yankees are still alive (barely) in the playoffs!

Hope you are enjoying the season! Go Yanks!! BB

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Mid-October Update


I returned late last week from Florida to find the fall in full swing! The days are cool, the evenings even cooler and the leaves are starting to change. What a difference from the 90 degree days of the past three weeks. The only sign of fall I saw down there was that the Sand Hill Cranes had started to return.

My father is still in acute rehab but he is getting better. He is physically getting stronger and with it, his dementia is fading. He is mostly in the present with just lapses of confusion. But, in talking about his situation with the case manager in his facility, it sounds like Dad’s insurer will release him this week and send him home. He is certainly not ready to live on his own just yet. We had expected him to be moved to a skilled nursing facility for a bit first but I am told now that that seems unlikely.

In the meantime, I didn’t want Dad to be alone in rehab for too long, so Robbie volunteered to go down for a while. She flew down yesterday. The idea was to have her visit him and monitor what the doctors were doing until he was ready to move to skilled. Now it looks like she will be there for his release. Glad we booked that trip. I hope my father will agree to come straight to Morristown upon his release. He can stay with us for a few weeks to regain more strength and to start working out a plan for whether he should move to some kind of assisted living. We also want to look into him permanently moving back north.

So I am now Mr. Mom for a while as Rob does the heavy lifting in Florida. I think she may be able to find some time to hit the beach, which would be a good reward for her. This weekend, I had the pleasure of getting to one of David’s football games. It was a beautiful fall Saturday morning for a home game on the high school’s fancy new field. The boys played exceptionally well for an easy 32-20 win, improving their season record to 3-1-1. Here’s a picture of David making a nice solo tackle!

Friday, October 1, 2010

Deep in the Heart of Florida


Well, a new month begins and I, for one, am glad that September is over. I have spent a large chunk of the month "deep in the heart" of Florida but there haven't been any beautiful beaches or umbrella drinks.

I came down at the beginning of the month to take my Dad to have a procedure that involves two of my least favorite surgical terms - cardiac and groin. In other words, he had an angiogram. This procedure involves threading a line into your heart through an artery in your groin in order to take lewd pictures of your heart's innards. While he came through that procedure with minimal complications, the results of the test were a need to have his aortic valve replaced and a double bypass. We scheduled that surgery for the 20th.

I came back for the open heart surgery starting on the 19th and it has been quite a haul since then. He made it through the surgery extraordinarily well from a physical perspective. No complications and surprisingly, he hasn't taken a single painkiller! Unfortunately, he has had a very, very difficult time with the mental effects of the anesthesia. I can't even begin to describe what it's been like other than to say that it's been all dementia all the time. Sometimes the dark side and sometimes the daydreamy kind but seldom any reality. Thankfully, he is starting to come out of it and today was a really good day for connecting perception and reality. I am actually incredibly excited that things are finally turning for better. We're not in a normal place yet ( in many different ways) but at least we can see it from here.

As with everyone who goes through open heart surgery, I know that the recovery is long and I'm sure it will be for him. But, it sure is good to have him back to a place where we can at least talk. He'll be able to walk again and dress and do all those other things we all take for granted as he gains his strength. It may take some time, but I am confident he will get there. If the dementia continues to improve, as it now looks like it will, he may well make a "full" recovery.

I know many of you have gone through this with family members or, in some cases, personally. And as far as I can tell, you are no more demented now than you were before the surgery! So I can now say that I feel your pain and I congratulate you on the mountain you have climbed!

As for me, I am greatly looking forward to (eventually) leaving this flat, humid, unforgiving panhandle and returning to my sweet, oak-shaded hilltop where I can ponder the wonders of Man and Nature.

Wishing you all an October full of beautiful foliage, apple cider and pumpkin pies...BB

Friday, September 17, 2010

A Tribute to Howard Adams

In the 20 years I worked at Prudential, I met a lot of different kinds of people but none of them made the impression on me that Howard Adams did. Howard was a pricer in the Guaranteed Products division, where I spent 14 of those 20 years. When I joined the unit, Howard was already an experienced pricer and a well known personality. I worked with him as a colleague and when I ran the Group Annuity pricing unit, he was one of my reports.

Howard was larger than life, in both size and personality. He stood about 6 feet and weighted over 250 pounds. He had immense broad shoulders and a barrel chest supported by a trim waist and slim lower body - the physique of a superhero. He also sported a "mountain man" beard which gave him the look of one tough hombre. His physical appearance was just a reflection though, of the strength of his personality.

Howard was a first rate pricer - very good with finance and a quick study. He was bold and outgoing, relishing the chance to win a large deal. And we won many of them in those years. He had a great sense of humor - off color and politically incorrect but razor sharp. He was a magnet for anyone who enjoyed an irreverent, down-to-earth world view. And he was always at the center of any good social outing with the crew from Pru.

Unfortunately, Howard was diagnosed with skin cancer at around the age of thirty. He worked through it and had several periods where it seemed to fall into the background before a recurrence. He passed away about 10 years ago after fighting it for 7 or 8 years. His death was a great loss to all of us who knew him and worked with him. He left behind a wife and two young children.

I have thought of Howard often over the years. He was, for me, a great example of a man who worked hard, enjoyed life, maintained his sense of humor and had a strong sense of both his own independence and the value of good teamwork. I carry with me many memories of the conversations I had with Howard about family and work, winning and losing, risk and reward and sometimes just the joy of a good wise-ass remark!

After my diagnosis, I have often thought about the strength and grace Howard displayed during those tough years, particularly at the end, when cancer got the best of him. We talked more during those times about his treatment and the effects it had on his family life. The way Howard handled himself in those final years has become a role model for me.

Yesterday, the Star Ledger printed a great story about Mike Adams, the new 23-year-old Varsity football coach at Parsippany High School and the difference he is making there. Mike is Howard's son. The picture above is from the article and Mike is the image of his father. From the article, it is clear that Mike has developed many of the great traits of his Dad. I can only imagine how proud Howard would be if he was here to see it. Mike is the best tribute to Howard that there could be.

The Star Ledger article is at
http://blog.nj.com/hssportsextra/2010/09/behind_23-year_old_head_coach.html

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Fall High School Sports

Well, I know it's September 'cause our high school sports are in full swing! And this year, we've got both kids wearing the marroon and white of Morristown High! Vicki's senior season on the Varsity Volleyball team started with a game Friday night and a one day tournament today. David's first Freshman Football game was this morning. Both kids worked really hard in August at their training camps and Rob and I are very proud of them both.

Here's a picture of Vicki on our deck after today's tournament.

Below is a shot of Dave leaving the field at the end of the game. I didn't want to embarass him by calling him over for a pose on the first day. He's in the middle of the shot - number 31. You can click on the picture to make it larger. Hope you, too are enjoying the cool weather and the start of the fall season! BB

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Our Socialist Founding Fathers?

After a summer of reading fiction, I decided to return to my roots and read some good academic history. While in Amhearst last month, I picked up an item in a used textbook store called “The Economy of Colonial America”. It revealed some interesting information, based on economic historical research, which is all the more interesting in light of current political discourse.

One of the significant economic issues in the colonies was the lack of money. The colonial economy was overwhelmingly agricultural and raw materials were the basis of its exports. Notably, however, most economic activity was among the colonies, not goods for export. The exported products were mainly tobacco, wheat, corn, fish, animal skins, lumber products and the like. These products were sold to England, to southern Europe and to the plantations in the Caribbean. By law, some products - like tobacco and ship masts - could only be sold to English firms. Also by law, hard currency in the form of gold and silver coin could not be sent from England to the colonies nor could the colonies establish a mint. Hard currency, which was the primary currency of the day, was gathered mostly in the form of Spanish coins earned through sales in southern Europe and the Caribbean. But this international trade was a relatively small portion of the overall economy. Of note, some of the currency to reach our shores was courtesy of pirates who came to the east coast to spend freely after unburdening a Spanish ship of it’s chests of gold and silver!

Colonial governments did a number of things that were very innovative at the time in order to address the money issue and promote their economy. First, some colonies created “commodity currency” wherein the government set up a warehouse for farmers to deposit non-perishable products such as tobacco or beaver skins. Farmers were issued bills denominated in that commodity such as a bill worth one hogshead of tobacco. The farmer used this currency to buy other goods and the eventual holder of the bill took it to the warehouse for credit against imported English goods when the harvest was sold. One problem with this method, however, was that the ultimate value of the bill was dependent upon the “price” that the harvest eventually yielded.

Another government program in many colonies was the establishment of a land loan program. There were no banks in the colonies and most credit was provided by English merchants extending credit to exporting farmers. To help facilitate the purchase of land, the colonial governments set up programs to loan money for the purchase of land and held those mortgages. Typically, the government would lend up to 50% of the land value and collect a modest interest on the loan. This was a important method for providing credit to the largest segment of the economy. It also made the colonial governments large stakeholders in the largest portion of the economy by holding the mortgages (and taking possession of the land if it defaulted).

Finally, colonial governments issued their own currency, starting in 1690. This currency is unlike currency today, however. Since colonial governments were very small and money was tight, they turned to issuing paper money when confronted with a large expense. Large expenses occurred when colonial soldiers were mustered for one of the frequent border hostilities with the French or Indians. They were also incurred when colonial governments decided to issue currency as a way to promote more economic activity during economic slumps. For example, after successful economic stimulus issuances in Pennsylvania and New York, Maryland did a currency issuance in 1733 where it gave 30 shillings to every taxable individual. Amounts due for taxable indentured servants and slaves were given to their masters. Thirty shillings, at that time, was about 15% of the average annual income of a colonist.

These currencies were redeemable usually after two or three years as payment against public debts – meaning the payment of taxes, fees or loan repayments for land. Once turned in to the government, the currency was destroyed. Some colonial governments tried to make the currency legal for private debts as well. This met with resistance from English merchants who were the primary lenders to colonists. These merchants did not want a colonial court to order them to accept colonial currency to settle their debts. Parliament twice passed laws, in 1751 and 1764 to prohibit or limit the widespread use of colonial currencies but colonies persisted in doing so, with many colonies rolling one expired issuance into another in a stream of regular governmental debt in the form of paper money.

The overall effect of colonial governmental actions, combined with a myriad of other factors such as cheap land, shortages of labor and abundant natural resources, is that the colonial economy grew steadily throughout the pre-Revolutionary period. In fact, the average colonist on the eve of the Revolution was healthier than an Englishman, taller by about two inches (owing to better nutrition) and wealthier (since wealth was generally gathered through land ownership).

But how would these policies be viewed in today’s political atmosphere? One could argue that they are the sensible actions of a government dedicated to improving the life of its citizens by using government resources to support economic growth. Conversely, one might argue that government ownership of the major industry – agriculture (through land mortgages and, sometimes, foreclosures), it’s regulation of the main method of exportation (through commodity currency warehouses), it’s redistribution of wealth (through currency issuances) to stimulate the economy and it’s unending addiction to government debt (also through currency issuance) add up to just one thing. Socialism! Long before there was a Karl Marx, America was founded on socialism. I am ashamed.