Race to the Holidays!

Here we are in the final stretch before Christmas and I want to take a moment to wish everyone a Happy Holiday! I wish you all a calendar full of festive activities and bellies full of egg nog and cookies!

My kids are anxiously awaiting the start of the winter break. But it feels to me like the fall term has flown by! Vicki has submitted most of her college applications and even gotten a response from one already. She was admitted to Rutgers only days after she pressed the submit button. I’m sure it will be a long wait to hear from the others, though. Hopefully, she’ll have a tough decision to make in April!

David has done very well adjusting to high school life. He joined the winter track team to stay in shape for football and work on his speed. He had his first races this weekend, running at Drew University in a large invitational meet. He ran a leg of a Freshman 4 x 200m and anchor for a Freshman 4 x 400m. They won their heat in the 400m relay, which was fun to watch. Tomorrow, he is running with the JV team in the 55m sprint, also at Drew. The picture above is with his 400m relay buddies just before the race (he’s on the far left).

I also want to thank you all for the tremendous support you’ve given to me and my family this year. For us, it was a much better 2010 than I thought it would be and your friendship is a big part of that! Happy Holidays!!

So Far, No Snow

It’s been a while since I have blogged so I thought I would leave a quick note. I hope you all enjoyed your Thanksgiving and that you had the chance to get together with family, enjoy some good home cooking and watch football. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday – it’s much more relaxed and non-commercial than Christmas.


And now we are in mid-Hannukah. We had a nice family time with more, good home cooking and even a little football. Morristown High School played on Saturday for their section’s state championship at Giants Stadium (sorry Jet fans, it’s still Giants Stadium to me, even if that’s no longer the official name!) I took David since some of his buddies from the freshman team were promoted to Varsity for the playoffs. While he tells me that they all lamented their role as practice dummies and side-line cheerleaders, I have to believe that it was a great experience. They got to play (well, warm up and then cheer) in a pro stadium and, I’m told, will get rings just like the regular Varsity guys as Morristown won! What a thrill that must be!

Rob and the kids are doing well – Vicki is finishing up her college applications and David preparing for his first meet on the Winter Track team. They both press their tired noses to the window each morning hoping for a snow day, a wish I am sure will eventually be granted. Enjoy the season!

November Turkey

With our calendar pages firmly turned to November, it is time once again to celebrate that uniquely American experience of gluttony and sacrifice. Yes, it’s time for your annual benefits enrollment! And the big benefit issue on the platter at the center of our tables is, of course, healthcare. While I am a firm believer in setting aside a large portion of your favorite side dish – the 401(k) plan – I recognize that it is not the main event. So, in the interest of recipe-sharing, I add this contribution:


I have the good fortune of still being considered an employee, although a disabled one, until next June. At that time, I will have been on Long Term Disability for 2 years and thus eligible for Medicare. My employer will then drop me from the rolls and I will become a ward of the state, albeit a paying ward. I have further good fortune in that my family will not be similarly dropped but, instead, are eligible to move into the unsubsidized “Retiree” health plan, which provides coverage for both retired employees and those who left employment due to disability. The plan is different, and no doubt much more expensive, but hey - it’s better than going without.

My employer subsidizes health insurance at a rate of over $1,100 per month per employee. So each employee receives a company subsidy of $13,200 per year. The cost of insurance above that is born by the employee. For the “Cadillac plan” (my phrase) with the lowest deductible and coinsurance, the cost for a family is about $300 per month ($3,600 per year). The least expensive plan, with higher deductible and highest coinsurance, costs half that amount - $150 per month or $1,800 per year. There are also two “high deductible” plans – generally more attractive to young, healthy and/or optimistic employees – which have a high threshold to meet before receiving any insurance coverage but have “low” premiums. The cheaper of these costs $73 per month (a bit under $900 per year). So the true cost of insurance for a family, inclusive of the company subsidy, ranges from about $14,000 per year for the least-coverage High Deductible plan to almost $17,000 for the most-coverage traditional plan.

These numbers bring to mind several thoughts about healthcare in America:

1. Median family income in New York, where my job is based, is $56,000 per year ($4,000 higher than the national median of $52,000). At that income, a premium of $14,000 to $17,000 per year is unaffordable. Only with a very large subsidy is coverage possible for the average family.

2. I am surprised how expensive the High Deductible plan is. The idea behind these plans is to pay smaller premiums and then fund a Health Savings Account for paying medical bills, should they occur. If an average unsubsidized family still has to shell out $14,000 for the premium, how much more could they really put into an HSA?

3. In the past, I have always selected the “Cadillac” version of my employer’s offerings since the additional monthly premium amount was well within my budget. For the past two years, I have paid about $5,000 to $10,000 in copays, coinsurance, etc above the premium amount. (Note: My insurance is out-of-pocket for about $170,000 over those two years). Could an average unsubsidized family really afford $17,000 in premiums and then pay another $10,000 on top of that each year? If a non-insured person got the same treatment I did (admittedly doubtful) and not paid, would the $200,000 over two years just be passed on from doctors to insurers (and ultimately insured people)?

4. The value of the company subsidy is one of the reasons that working for a large company is better than for a small one. Unfortunately, small companies create the most new jobs in America. Therefore, we are shifting the “true” cost of healthcare to America by virtue of the increase in the portion of Americans who work for small companies with no or low-subsidy healthcare. There are those who feel that healthcare costs will only fall when consumers feel the cost and bargain with doctors for lower charges. I am certain that consumers are feeling the cost but they are powerless to bargain and thus, simply go without and hope not to get sick.

5. State-run healthcare insurance exchanges do nothing to change this dynamic. The core problem is the cost of healthcare, not the method of paying for it.

Okay, so that’s my entry in the recipe contest. For a while longer, I will still be one of the lucky ones, but the cost of healthcare in America is still November’s biggest turkey.

Mysemicolonstory Expands

If you have been on since my last post, you probably noticed some design changes on the blog. I thought it was time to freshen things up a bit. Also, in looking over the technology available from Blogger, I noticed that I could add “static” content – that is, non-blog pages of additional content. So I decided to make some changes.

In recent months, there have been several people who mentioned to me that someone close to them had been diagnosed with cancer. They told me that they passed my blog address on to that person. That got me thinking about how this blog might help someone new to cancer. Reading my blog, with all my family updates and non-cancer ramblings, might be rather off-topic for someone struggling to get a grip on things in those early days.

When I was in the initial phase of dealing with cancer, I did get a lot of medical information from internet sources. But those were “credible” sites, like American Cancer Society and Colon Cancer Alliance. I also read blogs of cancer survivors -not for cancer information but to see how they were coping. I wanted to see what was on their minds, what issues they faced and how they coped with them. Reading their stories helped to beat back the feelings of loneliness and isolation that come with a poor prognosis. For a new patient reading my blog, that’s the most I can offer since I don’t write this blog as advice or information on colon cancer.

So, I added the Welcome and About Me tabs across the top for these new readers to give them a quick sense of who I am and where to find the entries from those early days.

I then added the tab with the travel log of a typical trip to the Oncologist since strolling around the city is always the best part of any visit. I thought that would be fun to share. And finally, I added the fall photos just because I liked them and thought you might like them too.

So those are the changes to Mysemicolonstory. In the future, I plan to update or add to the static content from time to time. And I’m glad to take suggestions if there’s something you’d like to see!

Third Chemo Holiday Scan

I met with Dr. S yesterday to get the results of last Friday’s scan and was very pleasantly surprised! My cancer continues to grow at about the same rate as the prior two scans. However, since I “look good” to Dr. S, he feels that it’s okay for me to stay on a chemo break through the coming holidays. I will start chemo again in early January. We will do another scan in mid-December and then plan for renewed treatment after I get fat on Christmas pudding. He did say that I should get in touch with him if I have any issues before then – specifically cancer pain or signs of jaundice. I have yet to have either, so I hope that trend will continue.


We talked a little bit about how the tumor measurement is interpreted. I have often described them as “freckles” on my liver since the measurement is quoted as a diameter. I pictured them as spots each the size of a different coin – a penny, nickel, quarter, etc. But that’s not quite right. The tumors are three dimensional like a marble or a small ball and they aren’t necessarily on the surface of the liver. My larger ones are now just under an inch in diameter.

So, in trying to picture what my liver really looks like, I did some homework last night on how big a human liver is. The answer in part depends on the size of the person. Women have slightly smaller livers than men but that’s just because they’re slightly smaller anyway. The liver is shaped like a right triangle with the long side running horizontally under the ribcage from the right side of your body to the middle. The short side runs down the right side of the body. For an “average” man, it is about 9 or 10 inches across, 6 inches tall and – amazingly I think – 4 inches deep! It weights 3 to 3 ½ pounds and has a volume of about 1.4 liters (about 48 fluid ounces). In other words, it takes up about the same amount of space as four cans of soda.

So, if we drop into these four cans of soda three or four marbles of about 1 inch in diameter and perhaps 8 or 10 smaller marbles (like the kind we played with as kids), that’s my liver. Hope you liked that visual! BB

October Scan and Assorted Other Items

October is heading for a finish that’s a lot more “normal” now. Most importantly, my father’s dementia has cleared substantially. He is still in need of regular assistance but he is aware and capable. Our plan was to have him come up yesterday to stay for a month or two either with us or in a facility nearby. We had found one near my brother in Pennsylvania that sounded good and was reasonably priced (insurance wouldn’t cover it). However, at the eleventh hour, Robbie located a nurse in my father’s community who agreed to stay with him in his guest room and help him while he recuperates. Dad wanted to stay in his own house which, beside the comfort of being home, is much better laid out for someone with difficulty walking. So, we struck the deal and Rob came home solo yesterday.

We were all very glad to see her! The kids and I did fine in her absence, but she has a way of running the place that everyone likes. So, the boss is back and we’re all getting back to the usual routine. And just in time!

I had a CT scan today and have my meeting with the onc next Tuesday. I expect that there will be more growth and that he will have me start chemo again very shortly. There’s an outside chance that the growth will be so slight that I can have a little more time, but I’m not counting on it. So for the next few days, I am preparing myself to go back into treatment. As you might imagine, I’m not that psyched about it. I like having hair and eyebrows. I like being able to eat anything I want without all the GI problems. I like not feeling sleepy or like a truck ran over me or both. But, you can’t always get what you want (copyright: Rolling Stones 1969).

In the meantime, we’re doing the usual things you’re probably doing this fall. The pumpkin is on the front stoop. The yard is full of leaves and acorns (to be cleared this weekend). Mid-semester progress reports have arrived from Morristown High and parent-teacher conferences are being scheduled. Dave had a game this afternoon (winning 22-8, improving to a season record of 4-2-1). Vicki and Dave are planning their big Halloween party at our house next Saturday. And…one of my favorite October activities…the Yankees are still alive (barely) in the playoffs!

Hope you are enjoying the season! Go Yanks!! BB

Mid-October Update

I returned late last week from Florida to find the fall in full swing! The days are cool, the evenings even cooler and the leaves are starting to change. What a difference from the 90 degree days of the past three weeks. The only sign of fall I saw down there was that the Sand Hill Cranes had started to return.

My father is still in acute rehab but he is getting better. He is physically getting stronger and with it, his dementia is fading. He is mostly in the present with just lapses of confusion. But, in talking about his situation with the case manager in his facility, it sounds like Dad’s insurer will release him this week and send him home. He is certainly not ready to live on his own just yet. We had expected him to be moved to a skilled nursing facility for a bit first but I am told now that that seems unlikely.

In the meantime, I didn’t want Dad to be alone in rehab for too long, so Robbie volunteered to go down for a while. She flew down yesterday. The idea was to have her visit him and monitor what the doctors were doing until he was ready to move to skilled. Now it looks like she will be there for his release. Glad we booked that trip. I hope my father will agree to come straight to Morristown upon his release. He can stay with us for a few weeks to regain more strength and to start working out a plan for whether he should move to some kind of assisted living. We also want to look into him permanently moving back north.

So I am now Mr. Mom for a while as Rob does the heavy lifting in Florida. I think she may be able to find some time to hit the beach, which would be a good reward for her. This weekend, I had the pleasure of getting to one of David’s football games. It was a beautiful fall Saturday morning for a home game on the high school’s fancy new field. The boys played exceptionally well for an easy 32-20 win, improving their season record to 3-1-1. Here’s a picture of David making a nice solo tackle!

Deep in the Heart of Florida

Well, a new month begins and I, for one, am glad that September is over. I have spent a large chunk of the month "deep in the heart" of Florida but there haven't been any beautiful beaches or umbrella drinks.

I came down at the beginning of the month to take my Dad to have a procedure that involves two of my least favorite surgical terms - cardiac and groin. In other words, he had an angiogram. This procedure involves threading a line into your heart through an artery in your groin in order to take lewd pictures of your heart's innards. While he came through that procedure with minimal complications, the results of the test were a need to have his aortic valve replaced and a double bypass. We scheduled that surgery for the 20th.

I came back for the open heart surgery starting on the 19th and it has been quite a haul since then. He made it through the surgery extraordinarily well from a physical perspective. No complications and surprisingly, he hasn't taken a single painkiller! Unfortunately, he has had a very, very difficult time with the mental effects of the anesthesia. I can't even begin to describe what it's been like other than to say that it's been all dementia all the time. Sometimes the dark side and sometimes the daydreamy kind but seldom any reality. Thankfully, he is starting to come out of it and today was a really good day for connecting perception and reality. I am actually incredibly excited that things are finally turning for better. We're not in a normal place yet ( in many different ways) but at least we can see it from here.

As with everyone who goes through open heart surgery, I know that the recovery is long and I'm sure it will be for him. But, it sure is good to have him back to a place where we can at least talk. He'll be able to walk again and dress and do all those other things we all take for granted as he gains his strength. It may take some time, but I am confident he will get there. If the dementia continues to improve, as it now looks like it will, he may well make a "full" recovery.

I know many of you have gone through this with family members or, in some cases, personally. And as far as I can tell, you are no more demented now than you were before the surgery! So I can now say that I feel your pain and I congratulate you on the mountain you have climbed!

As for me, I am greatly looking forward to (eventually) leaving this flat, humid, unforgiving panhandle and returning to my sweet, oak-shaded hilltop where I can ponder the wonders of Man and Nature.

Wishing you all an October full of beautiful foliage, apple cider and pumpkin pies...BB

A Tribute to Howard Adams

In the 20 years I worked at Prudential, I met a lot of different kinds of people but none of them made the impression on me that Howard Adams did. Howard was a pricer in the Guaranteed Products division, where I spent 14 of those 20 years. When I joined the unit, Howard was already an experienced pricer and a well known personality. I worked with him as a colleague and when I ran the Group Annuity pricing unit, he was one of my reports.

Howard was larger than life, in both size and personality. He stood about 6 feet and weighted over 250 pounds. He had immense broad shoulders and a barrel chest supported by a trim waist and slim lower body - the physique of a superhero. He also sported a "mountain man" beard which gave him the look of one tough hombre. His physical appearance was just a reflection though, of the strength of his personality.

Howard was a first rate pricer - very good with finance and a quick study. He was bold and outgoing, relishing the chance to win a large deal. And we won many of them in those years. He had a great sense of humor - off color and politically incorrect but razor sharp. He was a magnet for anyone who enjoyed an irreverent, down-to-earth world view. And he was always at the center of any good social outing with the crew from Pru.

Unfortunately, Howard was diagnosed with skin cancer at around the age of thirty. He worked through it and had several periods where it seemed to fall into the background before a recurrence. He passed away about 10 years ago after fighting it for 7 or 8 years. His death was a great loss to all of us who knew him and worked with him. He left behind a wife and two young children.

I have thought of Howard often over the years. He was, for me, a great example of a man who worked hard, enjoyed life, maintained his sense of humor and had a strong sense of both his own independence and the value of good teamwork. I carry with me many memories of the conversations I had with Howard about family and work, winning and losing, risk and reward and sometimes just the joy of a good wise-ass remark!

After my diagnosis, I have often thought about the strength and grace Howard displayed during those tough years, particularly at the end, when cancer got the best of him. We talked more during those times about his treatment and the effects it had on his family life. The way Howard handled himself in those final years has become a role model for me.

Yesterday, the Star Ledger printed a great story about Mike Adams, the new 23-year-old Varsity football coach at Parsippany High School and the difference he is making there. Mike is Howard's son. The picture above is from the article and Mike is the image of his father. From the article, it is clear that Mike has developed many of the great traits of his Dad. I can only imagine how proud Howard would be if he was here to see it. Mike is the best tribute to Howard that there could be.

The Star Ledger article is at
http://blog.nj.com/hssportsextra/2010/09/behind_23-year_old_head_coach.html

Fall High School Sports

Well, I know it's September 'cause our high school sports are in full swing! And this year, we've got both kids wearing the marroon and white of Morristown High! Vicki's senior season on the Varsity Volleyball team started with a game Friday night and a one day tournament today. David's first Freshman Football game was this morning. Both kids worked really hard in August at their training camps and Rob and I are very proud of them both.

Here's a picture of Vicki on our deck after today's tournament.

Below is a shot of Dave leaving the field at the end of the game. I didn't want to embarass him by calling him over for a pose on the first day. He's in the middle of the shot - number 31. You can click on the picture to make it larger. Hope you, too are enjoying the cool weather and the start of the fall season! BB

Our Socialist Founding Fathers?

After a summer of reading fiction, I decided to return to my roots and read some good academic history. While in Amhearst last month, I picked up an item in a used textbook store called “The Economy of Colonial America”. It revealed some interesting information, based on economic historical research, which is all the more interesting in light of current political discourse.

One of the significant economic issues in the colonies was the lack of money. The colonial economy was overwhelmingly agricultural and raw materials were the basis of its exports. Notably, however, most economic activity was among the colonies, not goods for export. The exported products were mainly tobacco, wheat, corn, fish, animal skins, lumber products and the like. These products were sold to England, to southern Europe and to the plantations in the Caribbean. By law, some products - like tobacco and ship masts - could only be sold to English firms. Also by law, hard currency in the form of gold and silver coin could not be sent from England to the colonies nor could the colonies establish a mint. Hard currency, which was the primary currency of the day, was gathered mostly in the form of Spanish coins earned through sales in southern Europe and the Caribbean. But this international trade was a relatively small portion of the overall economy. Of note, some of the currency to reach our shores was courtesy of pirates who came to the east coast to spend freely after unburdening a Spanish ship of it’s chests of gold and silver!

Colonial governments did a number of things that were very innovative at the time in order to address the money issue and promote their economy. First, some colonies created “commodity currency” wherein the government set up a warehouse for farmers to deposit non-perishable products such as tobacco or beaver skins. Farmers were issued bills denominated in that commodity such as a bill worth one hogshead of tobacco. The farmer used this currency to buy other goods and the eventual holder of the bill took it to the warehouse for credit against imported English goods when the harvest was sold. One problem with this method, however, was that the ultimate value of the bill was dependent upon the “price” that the harvest eventually yielded.

Another government program in many colonies was the establishment of a land loan program. There were no banks in the colonies and most credit was provided by English merchants extending credit to exporting farmers. To help facilitate the purchase of land, the colonial governments set up programs to loan money for the purchase of land and held those mortgages. Typically, the government would lend up to 50% of the land value and collect a modest interest on the loan. This was a important method for providing credit to the largest segment of the economy. It also made the colonial governments large stakeholders in the largest portion of the economy by holding the mortgages (and taking possession of the land if it defaulted).

Finally, colonial governments issued their own currency, starting in 1690. This currency is unlike currency today, however. Since colonial governments were very small and money was tight, they turned to issuing paper money when confronted with a large expense. Large expenses occurred when colonial soldiers were mustered for one of the frequent border hostilities with the French or Indians. They were also incurred when colonial governments decided to issue currency as a way to promote more economic activity during economic slumps. For example, after successful economic stimulus issuances in Pennsylvania and New York, Maryland did a currency issuance in 1733 where it gave 30 shillings to every taxable individual. Amounts due for taxable indentured servants and slaves were given to their masters. Thirty shillings, at that time, was about 15% of the average annual income of a colonist.

These currencies were redeemable usually after two or three years as payment against public debts – meaning the payment of taxes, fees or loan repayments for land. Once turned in to the government, the currency was destroyed. Some colonial governments tried to make the currency legal for private debts as well. This met with resistance from English merchants who were the primary lenders to colonists. These merchants did not want a colonial court to order them to accept colonial currency to settle their debts. Parliament twice passed laws, in 1751 and 1764 to prohibit or limit the widespread use of colonial currencies but colonies persisted in doing so, with many colonies rolling one expired issuance into another in a stream of regular governmental debt in the form of paper money.

The overall effect of colonial governmental actions, combined with a myriad of other factors such as cheap land, shortages of labor and abundant natural resources, is that the colonial economy grew steadily throughout the pre-Revolutionary period. In fact, the average colonist on the eve of the Revolution was healthier than an Englishman, taller by about two inches (owing to better nutrition) and wealthier (since wealth was generally gathered through land ownership).

But how would these policies be viewed in today’s political atmosphere? One could argue that they are the sensible actions of a government dedicated to improving the life of its citizens by using government resources to support economic growth. Conversely, one might argue that government ownership of the major industry – agriculture (through land mortgages and, sometimes, foreclosures), it’s regulation of the main method of exportation (through commodity currency warehouses), it’s redistribution of wealth (through currency issuances) to stimulate the economy and it’s unending addiction to government debt (also through currency issuance) add up to just one thing. Socialism! Long before there was a Karl Marx, America was founded on socialism. I am ashamed.

Second Holiday Scan Results

I had my second scan last week (since going on chemo break) and met with Dr. S a few days ago to get the results. As expected, I had some more growth but not an outrageous amount. The larger lesions are a little bigger than a nickel. That’s slightly larger than when I started way back when. At their minimum, about 9 months ago, they were about the size of a dime. So the end result is that I have been given another two months off!

I had some time to discuss future treatment with the doctor and I am quite encouraged. He indicated that I will probably go back on treatment after my next scan but it’s possible that I could hold out until after Thanksgiving. And, although he never makes predictions about future treatments, he did imply that we might get into a pattern where I would be in treatment for six months or so and then get another break for a few months and then back in treatment again, etc. This is exceptionally good news as I am coming to realize that, perhaps, we are turning this thing into a slow moving, chronic condition. While that certainly has a downside, it is a huge positive in my mind and, frankly, changes my perspective quite a bit.

I have been concerned since the start that I was on shaky ground and that, without treatment (or even with treatment), my condition would rapidly deteriorate. And the statistics on my prognosis bear that out – at diagnosis, the averages for guys like me were: an average lifespan of 21 months and a 5 year survival rate of 8%. But as I see it now, after 22 months, I am barely worse off than when I started. My goal had been to reach 21 months and I have done that without giving much ground at all. I think the chances are good that I can continue in a cycle of treatment and rest periods for several years. And this realization has broadened my view a lot. I no longer feel that gnawing anxiety of wondering if I’m about to step off a cliff. It’ll be a grind during treatment but I will have the break periods to look forward to. I can also think more long term and feel more confident that I will be here for the kids in something like a useful way. This makes me incredibly happy and hopeful! My new goal is to be an 8%er!

So HOORAY and THANK YOU all for your tremendous support!!

Of course, this means that you will have to put up with my blogging for the foreseeable future…

"The Big C" on Showtime

In case you haven't heard, Showtime has started a new series called "The Big C" starring Laura Linney. The plot of the show is that a woman is diagnosed with Stage IV melanoma at the age of 42. She doesn't tell anyone, not even her family, but she begins to act differently. She had a reputation as a careful, rather "boring" person and is now doing bold and spontaneous things. It's pitched as a comedy but I guess it's more of a "dramady". Laura Linney is excellent as the lead character, so I will keep watching. But I am interested in seeing where they take this.

I like the idea that television is taking on a tough issue like advanced cancer and further that they are doing it through comedy. We have to be able to keep laughing, and laugh at ourselves, especially when things seem bleak. I'm a little concerned, though, that a) she decides not to tell her friends and family and b) she refuses treatment.

By talking about cancer honestly, we help to de-mystify it and make it easier for everyone to deal with it. In some ways, I think cancer is scarier to those who don't have it than those who do. Also, by talking about it as something that we deal with, like so many other difficult things people deal with, we can keep our sense of who we are. Being a "cancer patient" is a bit de-humanizing. Being a person who has cancer isn't. Also, a cancer diagnosis is tough emotionally and affects your spouse, your children, etc. You need the support of those around you and you need to help your loved ones understand what's going on so that they can cope with their own feelings about the things that will be changing for them, as well as for you.

And finally, I'm concerned about the character's refusal to be treated. Her reasoning seems to be that she has been given a certain amount of time to live and wants to live it without the effects of treatment, most notably the loss of her hair. I hope the show addresses the fact that no doctor can tell you how long you will live. They can only give you a statistic for how long, on average, people with your disgnosis lived. There is a broad band of actual outcomes. For example, all the oncologists I spoke with when I was diagnosed gave me the same figure for how long I would live (on average) - 21 months. This was my life expectancy with treatment. That was 22 months ago and I've still got a long way to go. So you can never let yourself succumb to the statistics, you need to fight your own battle.

I hope these things emerge - along with some good humor - over the coming weeks of the series. And, I hope you give the show a look. The first episode (last week) was pretty good.

By the way, I don't have Showtime - it's available for viewing on Showtime.com and other on-line sources.

Hope you are having a fun finish to the summer! BB

11 Percent Unemployment?

I'm going to make an economic prediction - hey why not, everybody else does!

The Bureau of Labor Statistics July report puts the unemployment rate at 9.5% after a July net loss of 131,000 non-farm jobs. The private sector is credited with creating 71,000 jobs while government (at all levels) shed 59,000 jobs. The total government loss was 202,000 but 143,000 of them were temporary census workers. So the structural drop in government employment is 59,000 jobs.

The drop in government jobs reflects the budget cutting going on mostly at the state and local level to balance budgets. In New Jersey, we have seen it at the state level as this year was the first year I ever recall the state balancing the budget. At the local level, it seems that every town in the state is cutting payrolls to balance their budgets. This, by the way, has led to almost daily reports in the papers about what jobs were eliminated in what towns. In Morris Township, our budget was balanced in part by eliminating 16 positions and furloughing various groups of employees (essentially cutting their number of paid days in the year). The cuts hit all departments, including fire services, road maintenace, etc.

For fans of smaller government, this means that the economic crisis is a dream come true. State and local governments are getting smaller and services are being eliminated. It's just a matter of time before the same occurs at the Federal level. Also, since most (perhaps all) economists are predicting a long slow recovery in terms of job creation, I would expect unemployment to stay high as any growth in the private sector is likely to be matched or exceeded with declines in the public sector.

One thing that is unclear to me is the effect of the "Stimulus" of 2009 on the unemployment rate. The Congressional Budget Office has a wide range in it's calculation of how many jobs have been saved. But, I think that it's safe to say that the jobs being saved are in the private sector. After all, when they put stimulus dollars into fixing a road or funding a new industry, it is private sector contractors that get the government contracts to do the work. The range of CBO estimates is currently a low of 1.4 million jobs and a high of 3.4 million jobs. So how has that affected the unemployment rate?

The 9.5% unemployment rate is based on a count of 14.6 million people seeking jobs. Without the stimulus, this number would range from a low of 16 million to a high of 18 million, depending on which calculation of jobs saved is correct. Let's split the difference and say 17 million. If there had been no stimulus, then, the unemployment rate would be approximately 11%. Since all of the stimulus "projects" I have seen are of limited duration - once the road is built, the job goes away - it's effect on employment will diminish over time. Therefore, I would predict that unemployment will rise toward the 11% mark unless the private economy can get more steam without this government support.

Isn't that a cheery thought! BB

Stieg Larsson is an Addiction

I'm not much of a fiction reader but I thought I'd write a quick review and warn you all to stay away from Stieg Larsson. The last of the "Dragon Tattoo" series came out recently, but naturally, I hadn't read the first two so I paid no attention. However, my voracious novel-reading daughter insisted that I read "Girl with the Dragon Tattoo". I put it off as long as possible, but while flying back from France, I was stuck with an 8 hour block of time so I started it. By the time the plane landed, I was hooked. I read that book straight through and then went immediately to the second book "Girl who Played with Fire" and read that like a man possessed. Finally, I begged a copy of "Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest" from a friend and just finished it. The main characters in the book are, each in their own way, obsessive and if you read these books, you too will become obsessed - obsessed with reading more. The novels are at times creepy and disgusting but always intriguing - a bit of "Silence of the Lambs" here, a little "Bourne Identity" there. And, in some cases, there are so many characters, you'll be tempted to take notes!

But - if you decide to read them, be warned: you will stop bathing and shaving, you will leave the dishes in the sink and eat only sparingly, your family will become just background noise and the mail will remain unopened in the box. You will simply sit there reading into the wee hours until you've read every word! In short, Stieg Larsson is an addiction.

But I have my life back now...

Paris

After our week in London, we took the train through the "chunnel" to Paris. It's a very easy ride and only takes about 3 hours. Along the way, you see some very nice French countyside.

We had (again) a very nice hotel in Paris and in a very nice (upscale) neighborhood, about 5 blocks north of the Louvre. Paris is very beautiful and very walkable. In fact, it's so beautiful that my favorite thing to do was often just to wander around. We took in the major sites and quite a few lesser ones as well. I could have stayed another week. Also, I kicked the rust off my college french and enjoyed speaking with anyone willing to speak a little more slowly than usual so that I could understand them. There were, however, plenty of people who spoke english so I don't think there was much of a language barrier.

Parisien life is decidedly later than London life. In London, the pubs are hopping every day from about 5 pm to 8 pm. The crowds always spilled out onto the sidewalk, where you are allowed to bring your drink. Anytime you saw a crowd on the street at that time, you knew you were passing a pub. In Paris, I didn't see much of a happy hour crew. But, from about 9 pm to 11 pm, the cafes were full. As they do during the rest of the day, people re-arrange the sidewalk chairs to all face the street so they can chat while watching the world go by. We enjoyed doing the same.

Paris also has incredibly good bread and chocolate! The boulangerie (bakery) near our hotel sold fresh baguettes every morning for 0.88 euros (about $1.25). I did notice, however, that in less trendy neighborhoods, a baguette was closer to 0.80 euros. We could make up sandwiches for the 4 of us with one baguette. So, we bought sandwich fixings and made ourselves lunches to eat in the park as we toured around. Eating in the park was fun as you get to soak in more of everyday goings-on (like the sand castle building contest we saw a kindergarten-age class do in the park directly adjacent to Notre Dame!)

We were in Paris over the Bastille Day holiday (their 4th of July) and caught the fireworks at the Eiffel Tower. We walked back to the hotel, down the Champs Elysee after midnite, and the place was hopping! It was a long walk, as traffic was snarled and no cabs were to be found anyway, but it was so pretty that no one cared.

So, although we had to leave a few museums and a few neighborhoods unexplored, we enjoyed the visit quite a bit. And, I am told, we missed quite a heat wave while we were away!

London

No, this picture is neither a political statement nor a comment on my ability to follow directions! Last week we returned from a trip to Europe with the kids. We started with a week in London (and a side trip to Birmingham) and then went to Paris for a week. The weather was great and we got a chance to see a lot of the sites.

London was a lot of fun for the family. We have friends there who have kids around our kids' ages so they got to hang out. It also turned out that a friend of ours was there for the week (for work) in the same hotel - so we spent some time with her, too. I've been to London a number of times before so I was happy to be able to share some of the things I like about the city with the kids. The only down note of the week in London was that I picked up some kind of virus and ran a high fever. As a result, I spent the last three days there at the hotel, sleeping a lot.

But I did meet a very nice doctor who was a referral from the hotel front desk. He is in private practice in the neighborhood where we stayed (South Kensington). He also had the most elegant doctor's office I've ever been in - in a classic South Ken browstone. We got a chance to talk a little bit about medical care in the US and the States. Also, as a point of comparison, my office visit with him cost L105 which, at current exchange rates is about $170. That's probably pretty comparable to the states for a doctor visit in a large city I would think.

Since I couldn't really go out sight-seeing, I would just take a walk in the neighborhood or sit in the park (Kensington Park) and read the paper until I felt fatigued again and went back to the hotel. These lttle walks were rather interesting though, because I got to see some of the "regular" London life, albeit in an upscale part of town. One day I watched the procession of girls from a school in their uniforms (lavendar floral dresses, knee socks and matching jackets) go in groups to the church across the street for what appeared to be the end-of-year ceremonies. Each group would go in for about 15 minutes and upon return some would be carrying trophies of various sizes. In one case, a couple of girls came out crying (and trophy-less) and I wonder whether they had their heart set on some award which they did not win.

I also overheard a funny item between some American tourists. While sitting in Kensington Park near the Albert memorial, an American couple strolled by. The Albert Memorial is huge, with scenes from far off lands, like Indian elephants, African scenes and American bison, carved at the four corners of it's base. The woman stopped to take a picture when the man said "You already got that one." She replied "I did?" "Yes", he said "You know, it's the memorial to what-his-name...see, there's that college of... whatever in the background. You know the one they stopped working on back in...whenever." "Oh, yeah" she said. And she put her camera away. Now that's communicating!

First Chemo-Holiday Scan

Last week I had my first scan since coming off the drugs and then had a check up with Dr. S to go over the results. My CEA is up a bit and I had about the same amount of growth as I had last time, which was my last 2 months on treatment. So, it looks like the growth rate is the same with or without the meds. My total tumor volume is now just under it's original starting point. So we decided to stay on holiday for another two months and then do another scan in mid-August.

As for side effects, everything has cleared up except for the exhaustion. I'm still wiped out most of the time. Dr. S said that this is not unusual since I was in treatment for a long time. I will go in again in a month to see him and if I am still having fatigue issues, he could prescribe something (an energy pill?). In the meantime, good diet and regular exercise...

On a side note, in the subway coming home, there was a guy playing the stand-up bass. Curiously, the tune he seemed to be playing was "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas". So, he's either six months early, six months late or has a very limited repertoire! Or my hearing is off....

Happy Father's Day! BB

Baseball Trip

So after my turn on the soapbox, I went down to Baltimore to catch some baseball with my brother. We saw the Yanks beat the Orioles 4 -2 on Wednesday night at Camden Yards. Still a very nice stadium - and no wonder it set the standard for most stadiums built today. Thursday we went into DC to see the Nationals beat the Pirates, also 4 -2. The Nats have a brand new stadium and it's also very nice. It was great to spend some time with Kevin and to feed my baseball addiction!

Soapbox

Everyone should get an opportunity once in their life to stand on the soapbox in town square and make a political speech. I had mine last weekend. Last March, I heard about a group called “Coffee Party”. The name is a take-off on Tea Party but the agenda was about civil public discourse and moderation rather than a particular point of view. I looked to see if there was a meeting in my area and when I found none, I posted an invitation online. The location was a local coffee shop. Sixty people came. We decided to meet again the following month and 100 people came. The group identified five issues they were concerned about. They also wanted to set up regular monthly meetings. So, a committee of volunteers was formed.

At the next meeting, in May, the group wanted to go “public” with a rally on the Morristown Green. For the rally, three topics were selected – Wall Street Reform, Campaign Finance Reform and Bipartisanship. We held the rally last Saturday. We had a speaker on Wall Street Reform who did an excellent job of summarizing the roots of the financial crisis of 2008 and reviewing what the proposed “reform” bills say. This was a bit depressing since the proposed reform bills don’t really seem to address the issues. Next, we had a former congressional candidate from our district discuss issues related to fundraising when running for Congress and ways to improve transparency and honesty. And last, one of our local mayors spoke about working together – he is a Democratic mayor in a Republican town.

I did a short introductory speech on the role of government as laid out in the Preamble of the Constitution (as evidence of our Founders’ original intent). I was also interviewed on NJ cable news – a three minute interview that became a sound bite on that night’s news.

So now I’ve had my 15 minutes in politics. It was enough for me! But there is something purely American about speaking in your town’s square. Here’s my campaign photo…BB

Colonoscopies and Insurance

Colonoscopy fans: here's a link to a Q&A from the NY Times about access to colonoscopies under the new healthcare law. Thought I would share it.

http://prescriptions.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/05/21/do-insurers-have-to-pay-for-colonoscopy-now/

We are all well here. Hope you are, too...BB

David at West Point

David's school track team competed in a big meet yesterday at the military academy at West Point. Since it's their biggest meet of the year and West Point is such a gorgeous area, I decided to drive up at see the meet. And it was a really nice day, too.

Dave did absolutely great! He ran the 800m and shaved 12 seconds off his personal best, running 2:28. He finished third in a very exciting race that came right down to the final 100 meters! And, his team won the meet! So, here are a couple of shots of him. Pre-race and coming down the stretch. Hope you don't mind me braggin' on the boy, but it was a lot of fun! BB

2010 Junior Prom

Saturday was the Junior prom for Morristown High. Before the big party, Vicki had her friends come over for some pictures. All the kids looked great and I thought I'd share some photos! Here's a group shot of all the kids and a shot of Vicki with her boyfriend, Dan. They all had a great time, even though a lot of them (including Vicki) had taken the SATs that morning. Didn't keep them from party-ing on!

Who put the "Ham" in Birmingham?

Last weekend, we had a 50th anniversary party for my in-laws. It was great fun and before the party, we had some pictures taken in the park. This is one of David and Vicki doing their "America's Greatest Teen Models" pose. I love this shot so I thought I'd share it!

Benched

I had my scan last week and went in for the results and therapy yesterday. When I got to the exam room, Dr S came in with his head research nurse, his research assistant and another doctor. I thought to myself - uh oh, I guess my scan didn't come out too well. Dr S told me that I had some more growth, about the same amount as last time (which isn't a lot). Then he told me that it's time for me to take a break from chemo. This struck me as rather curious. Why would I take a break if I'm losing ground?

Dr S said that, although I've had some more growth, my overall tumor volume is still pretty small and I haven't even made it back to where we started 17 months ago after I had the big reduction at the start of therapy. So, he feels it's time for me to take a break. I told him several times that I feel strong and ready to keep going. I'm not asking for a break and I don't want one if it's going to reduce my prospects in the future. Dr S said that I have already been in therapy longer than he likes to have someone on continuosly. Further, if it weren't for the study protocol, he would have already gone with a chemo holiday. Some preliminary results of the study drug are in and it doesn't look as promising as they thought (plus he doesn't even know if I am getting it.) Therefore, he wants me to take a break. I again told him that I am capable of taking a lot more chemo. Ultimately, he just said "I'm your Doctor and I'm advising you that you need to take a break". So I gave in. They flushed my port and scheduled a scan for two months from now. Dr S says I will be benched through the summer and likely into the fall. We will continue to scan every two months so the next time I'll come back is at the end of June.

While I find this a bit curious, I suppose that treatment every two weeks for 17 months is indeed a long time. In the end, I need to rely on the judgment of my onc. After all, he's the expert and I went with him for that expertise. I will go with his judgment. And as we all know, judgment is one part knowledge, one part experience, a teaspoon of bitters, an ounce of simple syrup and the zest of one lemon. Or is that a Tom Collins? In any event, I'm now officially benched for the next few months.

On the good side, we are going to Europe in July so I'll be 10 weeks out of treatment by then. Hopefully this will improve my stamina, decrease my side effects and make it a much more enjoyable time! BTW - Dr S says the side effects of chemo take quite a while to wear off - but I have to imagine they'll be noticeably better.

So, having been turned away on a gorgeous spring day, I decided to walk back to Penn Station rather than ride the E train. I cut through Rock Center and down 6th Ave, stopping at Bryant Park for a little rest (see pic above). I watched a couple of games of bocce which seems to be played there 24/7 in all weather. I swear that the same guy (dresses in black, fashionable goatee and a black beret) holds court every day! Then I hit Jimmy's diner at 36th street for some lunch and hopped the train. In all, a nice day for a walk in the city!

Hope you all are enjoying the great arrival of spring and a (fingers crossed) blossoming of our economy! BB

Rounds 35 & 36 and Boston

Well, I certainly haven't been a consistent blogger this year! But, here's an update for you. Since my last post, I have had Rounds 35 and 36. Both were the usual fare although the side effects have been a little stronger. Nothing too unmanageable, though. I'm thinking that perhaps the spring pollen may be part of it since your body can only take so much before it reacts - and some of my side effects are like allergic reactions.

Tomorrow I will have my bi-monthly CT scan. This will give us a read on whether the cancer growth they picked up in January is continuing. I'm keeping my fingers crossed!

In the off week between rounds, we decided to go to Boston to look at some colleges for Vicki. We looked at BU (my alma mater), BC, Northeastern and Tufts. Vicki liked BC and Tufts the best (BU was last on her list!). We also got a chance to see a little of the city with the kids - a visit to Fanieul Hall, dinner in the North End, some bowling and pool playing at a new (huge) place near Fenway Park and even some Candle Pin bowling (a unique New England version).

We also booked our tickets for a family vacation this summer - England and France for 2 weeks! Now we need to lock down hotels, etc. It'll be fun to do something exciting with the kids before they get too old!

So that's what we've been up to these last few weeks. Hope you all had a great Easter/Passover holiday! BB

The Daily Show

Last Thursday, Rob and I met some friends in the city to see the taping of John Stewart's The Daily Show. It was interesting to see how they put the show together and it was great fun to be in the audience. The studio was actually much smaller than I thought it would be - holding 239 people max. We came home and watched the show that night and it was pretty much straight through as it was live. John Stewart did a long bit at the beginning imitating Glenn Beck which they did trim a little - I think for length.

We then went for a bite on 9th Avenue right around the corner from where I lived when I started at AXA (50th and 9th). It was nice to get into the city for something other than treatment. Hope you all are having a great weekend and enjoying this terrific weather! You can see the Glenn Beck piece online at thedailyshow.com - it's titled "Conservative Libertarian".

Round 34 - Your Mileage May Vary

I had my appointment with Dr S yesterday. After looking at the scan again and my other tests, he recommended that I stay on my current treatment. Although the scan shows some growth, all of my other tests and levels look good. Accordingly, he felt we could "get a little more mileage" out of my current protocol. So, we will continue the current regiment and then see what my next scan shows. That scan will be in about 6 weeks. So, I had treatment yesterday and a chocolate cupcake from Crumbs.

For you car buffs, this a 1962 Thunderbird convertible. Like me, someone is getting a little more mileage out of her!

February - Rounds 32 and 33

OK, I have been pretty silent this February when it comes to blogging So, as the month expires, I thought I would post an update I had two rounds of treatment this month plus my regular bi-monthly CT scan. The treatments themselves were pretty routine.

I’ve also been trying to focus on a number of things I either need to or would like to get done sooner rather than later. But somehow in all of this I lost my voice for blogging. I did spend a fair bit of time reading the transcripts from the World Economic Forum, which were great. Perhaps I will blog later on that. I was also probably one of the 14 people in America who watched the entire 7 hours of the President’s Healthcare summit. I thought there was a lot of interesting (although admittedly wonkish) discussion but the media seemed to be looking for fireworks I wish some responsible media outlet would actually review the points and reasoning rather than just looking for the “killer” sound bite.

But back to reality. On my health front, I have had some bad news. My recent scan has shown “significant” growth in my cancer. Significant is a proportional designation – meaning the percentage of tumor size. Since my tumors are all very small, the overall amount of cancer isn’t problematic yet. In fact, I believe that they have not yet attained the size they started at before the 50% reduction from my early chemo days. But, most importantly, the results mean that my current drugs (5FU and AMG655) aren’t working anymore. This is the way it works with colon cancer (and perhaps other cancers as well) – a drug works for a while and kills everything that it can. But if it doesn’t kill it all, the remainder is immune to that drug. So it does no good to keep taking it.

I will need to move to a new line of defense. I don’t know what that is yet. My onc wanted to consult with the radiologist before making a recommendation on next steps. So, I will see him on Tuesday the 8th to come up with a new gameplan. I am disappointed that my first line, which seemed to be going so well, has now failed after just 15 months. Dr S said that’s about the median for its usefulness. But I knew from the beginning that this is a defensive war where each treatment protocol will work for only so long and then you need to fallback to something else to buy more time and so on. I’m also a bit disappointed because I have been feeling pretty good and my weight is up. I have been weight training nearly everyday this year to try to improve my strength and muscle mass for the fight ahead. Hopefully the workouts will help shore up my second line, whatever that turns out to be. I’ll let you know when I know.

Thanks again to you all for your continued support. It means a lot to me and my family. BB

Round 31

I went yesterday for my re-scheduled Round 31, having had new blood work done on Monday. My liver function readings are back down - just under the maximum in the range. I did have a very large spike in another test, called CPK, which is an indicator of muscle or heart damage. After discussing it with Dr. S, we decided to go ahead with treatment anyway. I think the issue with my CPK probably reflects the fact that I have been going to the gym almost every day this month to "pump some iron". The reading probably just relates to me using a lot of muscles that have been relatively inactive for the last year. In any event, I am very happy to have passed the test and gotten treatment.

As an aside, I think the extra week off really was a rest I needed. I actually feel pretty good and didn't even get nauseous in the chair. I think the combination of working out and getting a week delay in treatment has made me stronger than I was before. It has, however, reminded me that I do have a serious condition. The year of stability sort of lulled me into a sense of security. That led me to put off some things that I should have taken care of already. So, it's a good shot across the bow.

Round 30 and (almost) 31

Well, I haven’t blogged in quite a while. The holidays were full of friends and family and birthday parties (for both me and David who turned 14). I had chemo round 30 on December 28th and it went as usual.

Unfortunately, I went for Round 31 yesterday and, after a 2 hour wait to see my onc, I found out that I failed my liver function blood test. My levels were several times higher than the acceptable maximum. So, they took a little extra blood to do a few extra tests – like a hepatitis check – and sent me home. I will try again next week and, hopefully, my levels will return to normal. I’m not sure if this is a sign of things to come or just a bump in the road. We’ll see.